Goodbye

It is very difficult to deal with letting go...

Be it letting go of your family to live alone,

Be it letting go of a boyfriend whom you love deeply,

Be it letting go of friends you've met at school,

Be it letting go of a relative, a husband, etc....

It is truly the hardest when we had to let Shyrlyn go.

Yesterday I had my first experience of learning the news of a friend that passed away.

First reaction was of course, disbelief.

Then came the shock, and the horror,

and next came in sorrow and confusion.

Disbelief was due to the fact that just last month, we had a couple of drinks together at Chjmes.

That's the second time we ever met.

She talked about herself, and what she do.

Her personality is one of the most unique people I've ever met,

she even told me that she "死爱面子" which nobody ever admitted to me before.

It is unbelievable I was there talking to her, hugging her when she had too many drinks,

and I know that we can never do the same things together anymore.

I start to think: why didn't I try to talk to her more about her life?

Maybe I could have known more and gotten closer to her on that day,

maybe she would have confided in me and none of this would have happened.

But then, who would have known.

Somewhere around my heart, guilt is piling up in tiny bits.

We were not close, not close at all.

Yet I'm confused how,

even someone who was just a normal friend to me, could affect me so much.

And now I'm so sick of using all this past tense like "was" and "were"

to type whatever I'm typing right now in this entry to talk about Shyrlyn.

After everything happened, many thoughts raced through my mind.

I started to fear (for I am indeed selfish) over who am I going to lose next.

What if it is a close friend this time? Or a relative?

I've started living life so casually, I don't seem to realize that people might leave someday.

Dearest Shyrlyn,

I do not know or understand the reason why you did this,

but I sincerely hope wherever you are now,

you are happier than where you were before.

BUSY

Hey guys, haven't blogged in a gazillion years and this is the reason....

Assessment. Mixed together with work, I've never felt so pushed to the limit in my life before.

Face beaming with smile when I received the results. Can't believe i'm finally relieved from school forever! (after I finished my damned diploma show)

I kinda like my children book. Sadly I screwed up the binding and printing. :( No one can be a bigger screw up than me. I'm amazed how I came so far from first year tho. Where I can't even cut a proper straight line...Nostalgic.

Random, Jenny's 300 bucks ring. -_- Really worth it ?

Guess who I met up with yesterday! CARMEN! 5 years since she appeared in my blog. Ohmygoodness! She finally came back from Australia. We used to eat billy bombers together, laugh in secondary school and now we party together like all grown up. Its weird in a way. Hahaha.

All the girls gathered for Sly's birthday celebration.

I think I'm the only one having different facial expressions cuz nobody knows I'm clicking the button lmao.

Everytime we go party, theres bound to be a problem or trouble here and there. Yesterday, while queuing for drinks, theres this indian couple behind us who said Georgina and Emily didn't queue. That's stupid, because we are in front of that indian couple and they just came like 2 seconds and they are accused of cutting queue.

The guy (whom I suspect, wanted to impress the girlfriend) started to pick a fight with us girls. He started spitting words into our faces, literally, and I argued back with him. As we argued, his face started to inch closer and closer to mine. Feeling disgusted, I clasped my hand on my face, and told him: Please move away from my face. Guess what he replied:

"Why? You think I wanna fuck you?"

Lol. Joke of the day. So I replied him, "No, because your breath stinks."

And he moved backwards immediately, blinked his eyes and looked like its a big surprise he just knew he had bad breath. What an douchebag. Kept making racist jokes saying we are from China and we should all go back to our country, while calling us "little ones". Who said racism doesn't exist in Singapore anymore? Gosh.

The funny thing is, when it reached our turn for drinks, he started to make a scene and prod my shoulder with his finger (while trying to act like his just making a conversation waving his hand around) and the bartender asked me what is wrong. I said, that guy kept bothering us. And tadah, he was kicked outta the queue. Satisfaction never tasted so good.

Yeah, another reason for not blogging is...my camera mysteriously disappeared. Just poof and gone like smoke, what's left is the pouch. (highly suspect my siblings did something to it.....)

Overdued photos of Fin and me at starbucks mugging. Its in facebook but whatever.

I'll blog next time after I get my new cam. :)