Whatever it takes

smellin' like perfume comin' home late
another group of chicks
so many damn mistakes

everything you said i know that it was fake

:D

有一天相信你会怀念那个傻傻的我，淋着大雨等在你家路口

♥

心痛

只怪自己当初没有把爱说出口，现在想说声爱你也找不到借口

我连呼吸都很难受。。。

Gonna start work tomorrow. Time to get life back on its right track, work more and put my mind fucking off from stupid things. I hope I can do it. :(

Life Changing

Haven't blogged in a long time I know. Many many things happened, where shall I start? Everything that occurred seems to be very life-changing for me. If I said I've never meant for any of this to happen, does it matter anymore?

Some people said, it's not entirely my fault. And some, said I'm to blame. My mother especially, whom without fail, keep adding salt to my wounds about what happened. She just couldn't stop for a day or an hour while I'm at home that its due to my nature that things like this happen.

When that uncle said to me those hurtful things to me back at the hospital, I really felt pain. Probably it's because nobody actually said it plainly to me that it is my fault. In actual fact, it is really my fault. I feel pain, cuz everything is of my doing. Pain that I caused two persons' lives to have a drastic change. And my life? Could have went on normally. My mother wished that I let go of everything and try to lead a normal life. But I couldn't. Guilt has chained me.

I feel responsible. Responsible for landing him to hospital. Responsible for ruining someone's bright future. Responsible for crying, depressed parents. I really do not wish to hear another person telling me it's not my fault anymore. Nothing can change my mind.

I don't know what I should do, except trying to take care of whoever I've caused pain, and lessen the other's pain of the entire life being ruined. I wished....none of this had happened. I would pay any price for it....perhaps even land myself in hospital instead, pay with my life or whatever. But such a wish would never come true...instead I have to face the reality that in the upcoming months, ppl's lives would change.